In the past, as a deaf musician, I have felt a bit like the weird one. Not really fitting in. My mannerisms were a little different from my friends and colleagues, because I lipread, have to look at people’s faces and lips. It makes people sometimes think I was odd, looking so intently at them.
Now I feel empowered by my deafness. It makes me stronger. Like some sort of Marvel superpower. I lipread, I read body language. I can cut through the oddness.
Playing music and being deaf is sometimes hard when you have to rely on your instinct to know how loud or quiet something is. Sometimes I can’t actually hear very well on stage at all and have no reference to fall back on. Its like performing in a void.
Its good when I have a good sound engineer doing the sound, they can sort out the monitor so that I can get the right frequencies directed towards me.
My favourite sound is when then music is like a cushion underneath me and I am cloaked by the other instruments around me.
When I practise at home I will often practise with headphones on really loud so can just feel the music and completely immersed.